Day 51

oh wow, I passed the 50 days mark, ... and still surviving.


searching for a new apartment is nerve-wrecking, and sad to say, I have yet to find one that's of my liking but still within my budget. I'm still pretty much undecided on where to move to, and honestly speaking, I don't know if moving is a good idea after all.


ARGH.

Day 43

I've been contemplating for awhile now whether I should move.

I'm okay staying in a shared apartment, I mean the people are nice, the room's well furnished and the apartment is more than adequately equipped. What more can I ask for?

Privacy.

It's not like anyone's intruding my privacy, but sometimes I just want to have a space completely for myself and the freedom to do anything in my very own place. And I want just that. To be able to walk around the house in torn t-shirts, to walk into the bathroom any time when I need to and stay however long I want to, to not have unwashed dishes in the sink bother me or people walking into the house with their shoes on, to not have to engage in small talks when I don't feel like it, ... I don't think I need to elaborate further.

Of course, all these comes with a price too - higher rent, paying more for utilities as well as getting additional furniture and equipment. But for once, I think I should listen to my heart, and not let money bother me.

Also, I'm quite undecided whether I should move to the city or stay nearby to my workplace. There's pros and cons for both choices, ... I would so love to stay in the city, be able to get authentic Asian food, be nearer to people I know. But at the same time, I also dread the thought of having to spend almost 2 hours of my day commuting to and fro to work.

Whoever said that life's easy?


Le sigh.

Day 40

Is the novelty finally wearing off?



... if no, why do i feel vibes of misery? :/

Day 38

Had a wonderful weekend in strasbourg with the boyfriend. ♥ It's such a beautiful city that I'm surprised that it has never crossed my mind to visit here before. Perhaps it's not such a bad idea to be back here, to have a second chance to experience and explore things that I've taken for granted.

On the other hand, oh wow, it has been more than a month since I left home! There are still a lot of considerations, uncertainties and frustrations in my mind, but I think for now, let's just sit back and watch how the future unravels. :)

Day 21

I spent the weekend with friends and acquaintances, whom I've known for many years yet have never really took the time to actually know them. While I've not made BFFs over the weekend, it made me realise a lot of things and how foolish I was back then to have taken things for granted. When I look back and reflect - neither the timing, the people nor the circumstances were the blockades, but it has always been me, that was restricting myself.

Nevertheless, I believe that it's never too late to improve things.

***

Lately, I find myself doing, thinking or even enjoying things that never would have crossed my mind a few years back. Now and again, I'm surprised by how much my mindset has changed over time. While I'm not entirely sure if I've gotten used to this stranger, I'm actually quite happy to see these changes and to be honest, I do look forward to discover the other sides of myself as well.

***

That aside, I'm glad I decided to travel all the way to meet up with them. I definitely enjoyed the company and the fireworks. :)

Day 16

just because I'm less happy, doesn't mean I can't be happy.



right?

Day 13

It's been almost 2 weeks since I'm here.

It does feel different being alone again, but so far I've managed to keep myself busy to think about it. Perhaps it's good in a way too. Maybe lowering your expectations and preparing for the worst do make things better, oh well. But I'm determined not to let myself dwell in negativity and fall into depression like before. :)

Work has been interesting and I do foresee challenging times and steep learning curves ahead, but that's not unexpected, isn't it?

On a brighter note, I received a surprise gift yesterday. Orchids ♥ ! Hopefully this one lasts!